Sunday, March 20, 2011

Why Buddhism?

I think Buddhism was thought up by a person who had extreme anxiety all of the time. Why else practice it? Yes, it's nice to find your "inner self", but it's more nice to meditate to calm your soul. Anxiety is everyone's worst nightmare.

I thought this Buddhism thing would help me make it through March without an anxiety attack. Every time I have felt one coming on, I do that "start by wiggling your toes" thing and it goes away. That tactic did not work today!

I woke up this morning and decided it would be a lovely day to have my nails done. I walked in and asked for acrylics with french tips, she said it would be $30.. the UV gel was only $35 ($5 more) so I upgraded. Needless to say that my anxiety came from the most disgusting UV gel application I have ever seen in my life, and the fact that I paid $50 for them.. The total came to $45 something, not the $35 that was advertised, and then I tipped $5 which was just an awful idea. She did such a horrible job, it is indescribable. For those of you who are local, it was Regal Nails.. normally I go to Le Nails, but I was in the Wal Mart plaza and thought I'd check out Regal. NEVER go there! Never! I will now make it my mission to ensure they have no business. Mean? Yes, but I am an extremely unhappy customer.

I left in anger, anguish, and all the regular things that cause anxiety. I think it was mostly because of the money I spent for such a poor quality job. I tried to wiggle my toes, I tried to think of the bigger picture, I tried to use my Buddhism teachings from this month, but I was already far too late. The anxiety hit in like thunder without rain - no warning. Of course, as soon as any type of sadness overcomes us, we as Angel Mommies can think of nothing about how insignificant this issue would be if only we had our babies here on Earth to laugh with, kiss, and hold. I miss you so much Annabelle. I hate that you and I can never have our own nail dates.

Buddhism has disappointed me. Well, maybe I'm just not putting in enough effort. 11 days left of March... 11 days to try to perfect being anxiety free (i.e. achieve Buddhism practices).

Sending peace to all,

1 comment:

  1. Awww, honey, I'm sorry she did such an awful job of your nails! I have to say, being a lass who does not do anything more girly than varnish her toe nails every 3 months or so, I have no idea what nail gel extension jelly what's~it's are!! But I'm still disappointed that it left you feeling like that! Grrrrr! I shall never, ever have my nails done there ... if I ever make it over the pond! ;)

    Don't you always find that even the best of coping methods and relaxation tecniques never seem to work when a real moment of crisis arises? I can never seem to put into practice what I've learned or, which is worse, what I teach my service users!

    Sending love & huggles & praying for peace!

    Susan x