Sunday, March 20, 2011

Why Buddhism?

I think Buddhism was thought up by a person who had extreme anxiety all of the time. Why else practice it? Yes, it's nice to find your "inner self", but it's more nice to meditate to calm your soul. Anxiety is everyone's worst nightmare.

I thought this Buddhism thing would help me make it through March without an anxiety attack. Every time I have felt one coming on, I do that "start by wiggling your toes" thing and it goes away. That tactic did not work today!

I woke up this morning and decided it would be a lovely day to have my nails done. I walked in and asked for acrylics with french tips, she said it would be $30.. the UV gel was only $35 ($5 more) so I upgraded. Needless to say that my anxiety came from the most disgusting UV gel application I have ever seen in my life, and the fact that I paid $50 for them.. The total came to $45 something, not the $35 that was advertised, and then I tipped $5 which was just an awful idea. She did such a horrible job, it is indescribable. For those of you who are local, it was Regal Nails.. normally I go to Le Nails, but I was in the Wal Mart plaza and thought I'd check out Regal. NEVER go there! Never! I will now make it my mission to ensure they have no business. Mean? Yes, but I am an extremely unhappy customer.

I left in anger, anguish, and all the regular things that cause anxiety. I think it was mostly because of the money I spent for such a poor quality job. I tried to wiggle my toes, I tried to think of the bigger picture, I tried to use my Buddhism teachings from this month, but I was already far too late. The anxiety hit in like thunder without rain - no warning. Of course, as soon as any type of sadness overcomes us, we as Angel Mommies can think of nothing about how insignificant this issue would be if only we had our babies here on Earth to laugh with, kiss, and hold. I miss you so much Annabelle. I hate that you and I can never have our own nail dates.

Buddhism has disappointed me. Well, maybe I'm just not putting in enough effort. 11 days left of March... 11 days to try to perfect being anxiety free (i.e. achieve Buddhism practices).

Sending peace to all,

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Piece by Piece

I am currently in BC, but on the night before leaving I attempted to find my "inner self"....

Ian shared a story with me in reference to one of his roommates from the hostel he stayed at last year in Rome. This roommate practiced meditation by sitting cross legged (nightly) and felt his entire body from big toe to top of forehead. I'm not sure how to explain the "felt" aspect of this mediation. I guess it's almost like a wiggle, it's as though he places himself in the moment 100% and concentrates strictly on whatever body part he is focusing on. He explained to Ian that if he does it properly it takes about 3 hours, but he had been doing it all in one hour since he was on vacation.

Ian tells me this story SOOOOO what do I do? Test it. I test the theory. I wonder if this will help me calm my soul and mind down, or if it will (at the very least) help me fall asleep since I've had issues with that lately. I was lying in bed... not cross legged, just lying... Ian snoring beside me, and I could not fall asleep! I began wiggling my big toe slowly and concentrating on the movement. I wanted to do it for 5 minutes, but I was impatient; thus, 30 seconds later I moved to the next toe. After moving my first 4 toes, I fell asleep! I didn't even remember it by the next day until mid evening! Marvelous, absolutely marvelous. Needless to say this will forever be my sleep medicine :)

Monday, March 7, 2011

Intro to Buddhism

There is so much to learn about Buddhism, I am unsure where to begin! Reading over an assortment of Buddhism practices has triggered numerous memories in my mind of grade 11 World Religions class. There is so much to learn and so little time. We hope to educate our readers while we educate ourselves!

"(Buddhism) is a philosophy because philosophy means 'love of wisdom' and the Buddhist path can be summed up as:

(1) to lead a moral life,
(2) to be mindful and aware of thoughts and actions, and
(3) to develop wisdom and understanding."

Our objective is to fully understand the above 3 most important aspects of Buddhism and perfect them throughout our life. We will lead a moral life by staying true to ourselves, our family, and our friends. Becoming mindful and aware has already been 50% achieved since losing Annabelle, as both myself and Ian have become very aware of everything that goes on in the world on a daily basis; however, there is always room for improvement! I think becoming "aware of thoughts and actions" will be more achievable once we learn the intricate details of Buddhism practices, as each practice will supposedly ease our minds and our soul. To develop wisdom and understanding we have promised ourselves that we will sway from judgment of others.

By doing the above, we will be looking at everything in a brand new lens - the Buddhist lens.

Peace and happy thoughts to all,

Wednesday, March 2, 2011


Our 30 Day Challenge for March...

Learn and achieve Buddhism practices!

AHHH I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS! I definitely need some meditation this month, especially with how busy our lives were in February. Ian is equally as excited (maybe this will calm down his temper.. hehe). I think Annabelle would have loved meditating with her Mommy and "zen"ning out.

I don't know too much about Buddhism except that it is all about finding your inner self, which I think I am prepared to do. I know it will bring up a lot of sadness for not having Annabelle here, but I am certain that it will bring an equal amount of peace to my life... something that is much needed.

If anyone has any tips, please comment!

Love Becca